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Hiding. I'm sick and tired of it. Can't show everybody the real me.
Happy. The truth is I'm not.
Sadness. It's all over me. I hate it.
Time. Please go faster. Don't you ever stop moving.
Missing. There are many missing pieces in my life. Don't know when and where I can find them.
Cry. Very hard to control it.
Think. About what?! I will still get the same answers anyway.
Expect. Not too much. It will only make me feel worse.
Someone. I wish my Kuya Jay is here with me.
"Home". For me, that place is heaven.
Patience. Asking God to give me more of this.
Selfish. I think that's what I am right now.
Contented. I will never be one.
Trying. To make my life okay.
Help. I badly need it.
** So I put on my make up put a smile on my face. And if anyone ask me everything is ok. I'm laughing 'cause no one knows the joke is on me. 'Cause I'm dyin inside with my pride and a smile on my face... on my face.
Oo nga nman. Bat kailangan nasa english words pa?! I'm just giving myself a hard time to make an entry. It can be in Tagalog and English naman. Ang arte pa. One of my problems na nga yung I can't express myself ng maayos then pinapadugo ko pa yung utak ko to think of the correct ways para nsa perfect english yun blog ko. Hay Marie! Nagising ka rin sa wakas. Haha!
Sunday. Last day of the week. Oh no, wait! Actually it's the first day. So dapat ndi ko mafeel 'tong laziness na 'to. I need to make my journal about dun sa Fraser Games and I have to finish pa pala yung graphic organizer ng Seedfolks. So many thing to do but here I am, making my entry for this day.
Three days to go, 18th birthday ko na. The day I've ben waiting for. I think most of the girls naman were dreaming about that day right?! But I still can't beleive up to now, that my "dream party" is not going to happen. Stay nalang sya forever as a dream. The hotel, gown, roses, candles, gifts, friends, love ones and everything. All of them are gone. The reason is, I'm stuck in a strange country na hanggang ngayon, nag aadjust parin. Sometimes, I just can't help but cry. Like the other new immigrants na sobrang namimiss yung own country nila. But kahit na a million times ko pang iask yun sarili ko kung bakit ako nandito, iisa pa rin yung sagot and neither I can't change that. My parents want the best for us. Am I being selfish? Self- centered? I think .. yes. Kasi kung meron mas nahihirapan, for sure sila yun. I'm kind a thankful na nga kasi may work na din si mom ko like my dad, kuya and ate. Were beginning to make our new life here na. Eventhough it's hard, were still trying our best to make everything ok.
Malapit na rin pala mag end yung school days namin sa Orientation Centre. June 10. Mabilis nalang yun. Kung kelan naman ok na kami with each other. Hay, another adjustment nanaman sa next school ko. And I think mas mahihirapan ako kasi mas less ata yung Filipinos there and I don't think kung they're still speaking Tagalog. Or baka sobrang arte na nila. Hate ko pa naman yun ganon. Well, good luck!
I went to school early this morning. Its our Sports Day in Fraser College. It was really fun! And very tiring too. But thats okay, atleast we had a bus and got free snacks and lunch (burgers and sausages).
We played cards (as usual!), volleyball, basketball, etc. Took pictures too but not a lot (I'll try to post them here). The Spanish people played soccer and they were really good! We also had a dance showdown. Between the Filipinos and Spaniards. KC and Stephanie were great dancers, when they were doing that creep walk thing and the other steps I don't know what to call. Haha, poor Spaniards because they can't do it! 
So while waiting for Arturo and KC (they're having a serious talk! know what I mean?), I was sitting in the corner with Deny and Arvie. Ivan, Alejandro and a girl was playing soccer. They were just passing the ball around. Then suddenly, the ball hit my head so hard! As in really hard. I felt like my head was pushed by a heavy thing and lost my neck. I even bit my tounge! But it didn't bleed. But my head, oh my God! I think my brain was so naalog. And guess who's fault?! Alejandro. Now I'm the one who's acting maarte to him. Haha! He keeps on saying sorry but I'm not listening to him. But actually I'm okay. I know he didn't mean it. I'm just being maarte to him so he will know how it feels! But I'm still thankful because the ball hit my head, not my face! If that happened, for sure I'm suffering with a broken nose right now and can't do my blog today.
I'll try to sleep early tonight because I'm really, really tired. But I still have to talk to Phraim. Hope he'll be online soon. I don't want to wait too long.
1.Most attractive features of a guy is?
>> Expressive eyes and funny.
2.Would you date anyone out of your race?
>> Are you talking about S****** Guy?!
3.Do you like older, younger or the same age guys?
>> I prefer the same age. He can be older too. But not that old! Maybe 2 years ahead.
4.Would you date a guy that smokes?
>> I don't like it.
5.Does he have to be rich?
>> No. But much better if he is! Haha!
6.Do you prefer taller, shorter or the same height guys?
>> Taller.
7.Do like guys with facial hair or no?
> No! I want him clean.
8.Name four important things you look for in guys?
>> Can make me smile/laugh, mabango, wears nice clothes, and ofcourse nice.
9.Would you date a guy your friend likes or used to like?
>> No way!
10.Would you want a guy that is or is not a virgin?
>> How will I know that?! I'm going to ask him?!
11.Short or long hair guy?
>> Short.
12.HONESTLY, when it comes down to dating a person, do looks really matter?
>> Uhmm .. yes! Haha!
13.Do you like guys that are built or more skinny?
>> Like Phraim.
14.Do you want a guy who would pay for everything?
>> Ofcourse!
15.Do you think that guys should open and close car doors/doors?
>> Do whatever he wants to do.
16.Describe the guy that you love?
>> Loves me so much inspite of the situation. And I thank him for that!
1.Are you serious when it comes to relationships?
= Ofcourse I am.
2. Are you afraid of commitments?
= Why should I?
3. Are you a risk taker?
= Yes.
4. What can you say about long distance relationships?
= I'm in that situation right now. It's not that hard but not that easy at the same time.
5. Can you love a person who doesn't love you?
= I can and I'll do anything to make him in love with me too.
6. Do actions speak louder than words?
= I'll give that a 100%.
7. Have you felt/found true love?
= Yes I found it and I'm feeling it right now.
8. How can you say that a person loves you?
= If he make me feel that I'm very special to him, introduce me to his parents, make me happy and cry, etc.
9. Are you good in handling relationships?
= I think so!
10. Are you willing to give everything?
= Yes. Everything.
11. Best thing you've learned from loving?
= Ask yourself 100 times first before doing something.
12. Do you demand your love one to change into something that he/ she's not?
= No. Why would I do that? I'll accept him as what he is with all my heart.
13. Would you let go of someone you love?
= If he want me to and if I have no choice.
14. Are you a one woman/man and vice versa type of person?
= I am. I beleive in karma!
15. Is sex important in a relationship?
= If you guys are already married. But in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, for me, it's not.
16. How do you express your love to someone?
= In actions and words.
17. What is the major reason of a break up?
= 3rd party? Fall out of love? Jealousy? Ah, there could be thousands of reasons!
18. What is the important ingredient in a relationship?
= Love, trust, happiness (but not all the time), etc.
19. Ever regret loving someone?
= Half yes and and a half no.
20. One thing you hate when you love?
= When you love someone very much but doesn't feel the same way.
21. One thing you like when you love?
= So damn happy.
22. Worst thing you did to a love one?
= I accidentally hit him with the corner of a book. He got a bruise near his right eye. Ouch!
23. Are you in love right now?
= Very much in love.
24. With whom?
= With Phraim.
25. Do you have a bf/gf?
= Yes I do have one.
26. Why?
= Because I said yes to him?!
27. Do you get tired of loving?
= Once.
28. Who has changed your view about loving?
= Master, myself and the people around me.
Went to Nathan's place after school. Walked a thousand miles before we reached his home. And we just stand the whole time while staying there. Plus I rode his brother's bike. So that made my legs become more painful. We ate Pizza Pizza again for our snacks. With fries ofcourse and chicken wings. The boys played basketball until 5. They even played with the friends of Nathan's brother. Thank God they won because one of their opponents was really tall! My brother is sleeping right now. I think he's very tired. He even got a bruise on his hand. And did not even know where he got it.
It's the start of a long weekend. No classes on Monday, Victoria Day (is that how they call it?). Ah, whatever. In short, it's holiday. That means I can sleep all day long. But we still have to do the project about Seedfolk. Damn teacher. Haha, mean!
Got nothing to say anymore. I'll try to get some sleep now. Nighty!
10:19 am. It's 4 minutes past our breaktime. And I'm starving to death. But there's nothing to worry about because I have some cookies in my bag. By the way, Phraim and I are okay now. I'm not really mad. Nagdrama lang as what I've said in my message.
Hay, Fr. Cecil talk to much. Are all priests like that? They always want to make sermon. They say so many things about this and that. Blah blah blah .. whatever! Nobody's listening to him anyway, I think? My stomach is starting to make noises now. I'm afraid Alejandro might hear it. That will be really embarassing! Haha.
So can we have or break now? Ah, not yet. He's still talking. When will he stop? Nobody knows.
10:30. Breaktime! Thank God.
(The same thing happened to me last 2 years ago so it's not new to me anymore.)
We had our long test in Fr. Cecil's class last Friday. It's all about the government of Canada. Everybody was having a hard time studying that topic since we are all new immigrants here. But two or three days before the test, something happened. My twin brother dear did a crime. He stole the test from the table of Father Cecil. He's really a lazy genius. So, we didn't have to study hard after all. We just need to memorize the answers. Much easier huh?! Here comes Friday morning. The pinoys were excited to take the test because we are 100% sure that we're going to pass. Everybody have their own "creative way" on how are they going to cheat. Stephanie and John printed the answers from the computer. I don't know who else did that. While the others memorized every single answer. But sometimes, we still looked at the paper under our desk once in a while. The operation was successful. I think all of us got a high grade. Thanks to the Vice President of the Kodigs Inc. - John (you rock!).
I also experienced the same thing when I'm in 3rd year highschool. We got the test from the computers in the Computer Laboratory. Stupid teachers of ours and how smart students they have! Haha, proud! But the sad part is, we got busted. Somebody make "sumbong". And everything happened next didn't go well. Many students were called at the Prefect's Office, including me. I didn't tell the truth ofcourse. But (?) did. Hay, such a coward. The teachers got mad to the whole batch and we took new set of tests.
We can't wait until tomorrow to see the result of our test! Ciao!
Actually, this is not an important story to tell. But i've decided to write about this break time thing instead of that "Tipo Espanol".
11:30 am. Break time. Eat, laugh and play cards. Those are the three major activities we do during break time. But the main event is the pusoy dos. My beer buddies from the Philippines used to play that game everytime. I keep on telling them to teach me how to play it but they are just too busy looking at their own cards. Now, I can't believe that I've learned it here in Canada. I'm not that good yet, compare to those classmates of mine! They are really awesome. Since there is no enough cards for the rest of us, and I think only 4 players are allowed to paly, some of my classmates are just coaching. And I thank them because I won some of the games! Can you imagine that?! A beginner like me won a game! It was really cool, haha! There will be tomorrow until Friday, 3 break times more and a lot of pusoy dos games to go!
A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.
Go faster. Go slower. I want the time to be like that in many ways. Want to know why?
Go Faster:
1. So three (3) years of wating will be over then I can visit the country and to be with my "future hubby".
2. When I'm waiting for Phraim to be on line.
3. During Ms. Aniko's class.
4. While waiting for the bus to arrive at the station.
5. So it'll be weekends and that means-- no classes.
6. While waiting for the food to be cook specially when I'm starving.
7. While wating for our classroom to be open every morning.
8. While standing in the subway until it reach the Yonge Station then there will be a vacant sit for me.
9. While waiting in the line to use the microwave at school.
10. While waiting for Reggie to get sleepy.
Go Slower:
1. When I'm still in the Philippines so I can spend more time with Phraim and my friends.
2. When I'm chatting with Phraim.
3. When I'm talking to Phraim on the phone.
4. While sleeping.
5. In Fr. Cecil's class.
6. Every morning so John and I will not miss the 7:50 bus.
7. During lunch break.
8. When answering paper works.
9. So I can finish my project until Thursday because I'm going to have a presentation on Friday.
10. When making blog so I can write more! Haha! (wala na kong maisip)
A story about time that I want to share.
Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived: happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others. One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Can I come with your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there is no room for you anywhere." Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing by in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Help me please!" "I can't help you", Vantiy said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "I'm sorry but I just need to be alone now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Please take me with you!" But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come, I wil take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time." Knowledge answered. "But why did Time helped me?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."
** Phraim send it to me during our second (2nd) monthsary. Nice huh?!
